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Please think twice before YOU check that little box that states, "I can coach a team". Because, just maybe, there might be a slim chance that you CAN'T. Coach that is.

Then, when YOU fail to show up for a soccer game, yet your kid is there, and the person YOU supposedly asked to fill in for YOU thinks the game is 1/2 hr. Later than it is and fails to show up on time for the start of the game, YOU should be very, very nice to the parent that steps up and volunteers to coach YOUR team for YOU.

When YOUR husband starts giving crap to the Ref, who is also another parent of YOUR team, please realize that YOUR husband is a jerk. I know he's a jerk because he was also a little on the rude side to the parent who coached YOUR team.

Then, instead of sending out a reprimanding email, stating that YOU hope things went smoothly, when YOU damn well know that they didn't because two of the parents called YOU on YOUR cell phone to figure out what to do, do not reprimand parents "representing" YOUR team to be respectful. Because said parents who stepped up even though they have no soccer knowledge other than cheering their kid to score a goal, or stop a goal, may just want to literally kick YOU in the butt at practice on Wednesday. That practice that one of those parents has been helping you control YOUR own bratty child whom YOU insist is perfect. I have heard a rumor that said parent will be joining all the other parents on the sideline at practice and reading her book, to enjoy the hour of free babysitting.

Also, just because two of the boys on YOUR team will be moving onto competitive league next year, does not mean YOU need to borrow my pen every freakin' game so YOU can keep score. You see, this year? Goals don't count, we don't even have goalies YOU freak.

Also, if I have to hear about the time in High School were that girl sunk her teeth into YOUR forehead during a soccer game one more time, I may just sink something else into YOUR forehead. My boy doesn't give two shits about that when he's taken a soccer ball upside the head.

Oh, and if YOU could perhaps find time in YOUR practice to actually teach those boys about soccer, that would be really great. Because if you spend five minutes teaching 7 6-8 year old boys a play, YOU can't seriously expect them to remember it three days later in the middle of a game, can YOU? Especially if you're calling it by a name they've never heard of, such as, The Triangle Play. Maybe, YOU could teach them how to play Forward, or Mid though. That might come in handy. Or how to work together to defend the goal? Then, maybe we wouldn't lose 15-3 every freaking game. Even when the other coach feels sorry for our boys and only plays 2 players on the field. Oh, and everyone needs to sit out one quarter, even Superstar. Believe it or not, Superstar's parents want him to sit out. Especially when it's 102 degrees outside.

I have plenty more to say to YOU about YOUR idea of teaching our boys respect, like when YOUR son kicks the soccer ball into a fellow teammates head and laughs, then when the victim child complains, YOU tell victim boy that your son didn't mean it (um, yes, yes he did). Then YOU half heartedly make YOUR son apologize, he then refuses and runs off the field pouting, YOU follow and our boys all sit around for 15 minutes waiting for YOU to get YOUR shit together.

I know YOU'RE a volunteer. Guess what? So are the rest of us and we paid to have our child on YOUR team this year. Lucky us.

I would like to suggest that maybe, just maybe, when YOU have parents who go above and beyond, YOU thank them. Like the time YOU sent out an email saying YOU needed parents to show up an hour early to set up goals, and we did, but YOU didn't show up until 2 minutes before game time. Passive agressive much? YOU should have thanked us then. Saturday, when no other parent stepped up and the boys were just about not going to be able to play, until I stepped up and pretended like I knew what I was doing, a thank you would have been nice.

And a giftcard to Starbucks.

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free drum beats

First off, I HAZ COOKIES Nummy. Pity they arenapos;t home baked, but theyapos;re darn close. My oven burns everything. Woe.

Secondly, I have a new serger, which means... I now have two older Sergers for sale to anyone interested. Theyapos;re off-brands, both of them, one a Zote and another I dontapos; know. Iapos;ll have to open the box up. Itapos;s never been used. Mine is used constantly, as Iapos;m sure most of you know by my many griping comments when the thread breaks and I�have to rethread it. The light never has worked on mine. Itapos;s probably just a blown bulb, but Iapos;m too chicken to try to get the bulb out and risk breaking the glass when I have a lamp RIGHT THERE, so I donapos;t need it anyhow. Theyapos;re both great little machines to start with and figure out if you really want to sink the money into a GOOD one, like I�just did today, with a Singer. Iapos;m asking $50 ea. Plus exact shipping.

Thirdly, I just now realized I put a map on my wall upside down. Months ago. Iapos;m not quite sure how it happened, other than the fact that itapos;s printed and slightly blurry, also small, just for looks. God knows I canapos;t actually read the thing. I, obviously, am not the most observant person in the world.

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angola landmarks

First entry on here, and of course it is about work.� My store is going through a change, and I donapos;t think it is for the good.�� Going from an upscale Dept store to a clearance store is a kick in the pants.� All it is going to� turn in to is a store like Ross, and who likes to shop there?� If I want to dig through garbage,� I will go to the dump

Nobody knows if they are staying there or being shipped to another store.� Nothing has been decided, and it has been over a week, and moral has hit an all time low.� I am concerned if I am staying or going, or if I will have a job or not.� I put my heart and soul in my job, and I am a damn good Sales Manager if I�say myself.� I care for my associates and other managers.� I have fun, and always put out 150.� I just hope that it gets noticed.� I will� keep you posted

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fash bash

I canapos;t stop my brain from thinking. Think think think. All day. All night. I canapos;t sleep. I canapos;t sleep because I am thinking about the heartbreak and betrayal. Ten months have passed and it still crushes and astounds me that I was so stupid and that she wasnapos;t genuine for most of the time I knew her. I canapos;t trust people. Iapos;m paranoid. More paranoid than before? I donapos;t know. Maybe I am. Maybe Iapos;m giving her too much credit.


I know itapos;s wrong to want another person to suffer emotionally or to fall into a black hole. I know this. That doesnapos;t make me want those things to happen to her any less. I think thatapos;s whatapos;s eating at me the most. She made me hate her so much that I want her to have never existed. I trusted her with being completely just me around her. I trusted her word. I took what she said to just be the truth when she claimed it was the truth. I was skeptical once. Twice, maybe. She got offended. Angry. Cried. I was right the second time. She reacted the same way. Then I found out I was right, that she had been lying about how she felt about the other guy. Suddenly, Iapos;m the bad guy for being completely devastated and pissed off instead of being her best goddamned friend in the world. I called her a worthless cunt. I told him I was going to kick his ass the next time I saw him. I was eventually talked out of kicking his ass. That doesnapos;t make me want to wipe that shit-eating grin off of his face with the business end of brass-handled cane every time I see the motherfucker. I know what heapos;s thinking. I know what both of them are thinking. "Ha ha. Isnapos;t Jeff a fucking asshole?"

I am a fucking asshole, though. That much is true. I do nothing but say true things. And you know what? The truth is that most of us are horrible people, and none of us want to hear about it. You deceive and hide behind facades and pretend you arenapos;t thinking that thought or feeling that feeling and at the end of the day, youapos;re so caught up in your own lies and petty games that you donapos;t even see that youapos;re all just as much the asshole as I am. The big difference. No. The only fucking difference, is that I donapos;t lie to people. I donapos;t try to hurt people. I just say things that are true. I say things people donapos;t want to hear. Yes. That makes me an asshole. You know why? Because I know I do it. I know people donapos;t want to hear the truth. But I fucking do it anyway. And I donapos;t change. I stay the same. I keep that one thing the same. The thing people like least about me, I refuse to change it. "Donapos;t say that, you just shouldnapos;t say those things" is a thing people like her or Darya like to say to me to make me feel bad about being honest. And you know? It just makes me want to do it more. The less people want to hear from me, the more I want to make them listen.

I donapos;t want to die. It is my biggest fear. I have never seriously considered committing suicide. I fear dying. Everyday. But to be quite frank, I donapos;t feel like I belong here. With people. In society. And worse yet, very few people disagree with me on that. I have lots to accomplish, but if I end up in the same place 80 years from now, Iapos;m going to be really disappointed on my death bed that I wasted all that time.

I have a mid-term in Scenic Art at 12:35. My alarm is set for 10:00. I intend to wake up then. Tea. Maybe coffee. Big breakfast. And 7 hours of work on a Friday night. And 14 hours of work on a Saturday.

I suddenly feel as if I am going to burst into tears. Thatapos;s strange. I really need to figure out what is wrong with me. I feel broken all of the time. Like Iapos;m missing an important gear or cog. Are those the same thing? I donapos;t know. I just donapos;t feel much like I am a person. I feel more like a computer or a robot. Iapos;m so completely logical and rational about everything I do. I feel like. "Love? What is this... *beep* love? DOES�NOT�COMPUTE. *BZZZZZZZZZZZ*" I canapos;t figure out the most basic of human emotions because I try to conquer my love life, like all other things in my world, rationally and logically, when the very gender I and inclined towards is quite the opposite of those two things.



To summarize: UGH, WOMEN.

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college sports camps

Today I was in the cafeteria, grabbing some pizza, as I turned and walked away the guy who makes the pizza shouted after me something that I disregarded because it sounded like sales and not immediately relevant. As I got into line by the cashier came running around the counter and tapped my arm to get my attention, I turned and he said "I see you buying pizza for lunch every day, ask me friday and Iapos;ll hook you up, and give you a free slice of pizza" I was surprised, and thankful, but in the back of my mind cynical, why me?

I guess Iapos;ll find out friday.
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cs tips tricks

Iapos;ve been kinda down lately, not like super depressed or anything, just a bit off. Mainly because of the weather, I think, but also because Iapos;m stressed and tired. Anyway, today I had a great pick-me-up. Lots of girly chatter and silliness, but also some serious talk, and it was all very soothing. It doesnapos;t take more, sometimes. Anyway, Iapos;m off to bed, and hopefully Iapos;ll be really focused tomorrow, and finish my essay so that all I have to do on Friday is read over it again. Iapos;m crossing my fingers

On another note...It looks like my tootsie has been to hell and back again. I can assure you itapos;s been no such thing as long as it has been attached to my body, at least not that Iapos;ve noticed. However toe-hell may not affect me since Iapos;m not a toe, it may just have seemed like a bizarre dream.



Also, I may have a personal tootsie fetish, because I find the above picture just adorable. Isnapos;t she cute, apart from the obvious bruising. Seriously, toes are one of the cutest human bits ever. Or at least I find mine cute. Other peopleapos;s can be a bit yucky.


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ceramic sink installation

Iapos;d never heard of this before. Itapos;s apparently different from a cost of living increase. My company went across the board and did a market study to see if they were paying us competitively enough. Apparently not, I just got a little raise :)

Joe and I headed out to The Sets last night to catch a couple of bands heapos;s been wanting to see. Ayria (Toronto) and Isentila (sp? Chicago). Both were fun. I think I enjoyed the Chicago band a little more because I really the singers voice. She didnapos;t need any back up, she could just belt something otu and it sounded good. We headed out just after Rogue made his way to the stage.

Also I will be attempting to make my Halloween costume this year...Medusa. *crosses fingers*
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back low pain toronto

I feel so gross.. �I swear I had more confidence when I was heavier. I donapos;t get it. All i can think about is being thin. Instead of paying attention in class I can only think about what Iapos;m going to eat next and how many calories are in it. How can I get my confidence back? How can I feel beautiful again? I feel so ugly. I feel as if my boyfriend thinks other girls are prettier than me but all he does is tell me iapos;m beautiful. Why canapos;t I believe him? Why canapos;t I feel pretty and thin and desirable? : (

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diane sayers

This last weekend was fun kinda.

Friday nothing really which was great.�

Saturday�went�to Corn Maze.� Pic�to follow.� TOTALLY�FUN�corn pit.� I so want�one to play in everyday of my life.� Gary and I went�out there and met�up with a couple people.� One was�Janae who I have known since the 6th grade.��We caught up�on everything�and of course the conversation of hey "I was always hoping you and Gary would hook up" came up but that was short lived.��

We�had Janeaapos;s friends Daughter (3 yr) with us and she and I played around on the Hay Maze with�Trish. Then we�ran into Mike and Sarah and Z-Man.� We�all went into the corn pit and then the weather turned on us.

Janea, Kris, Hayden Gary and I went to Ruby Tuesday and were joined by Adam.� Now I freaked out when he came�up cause Janae invited him but didnapos;t tell us and he remembered me.� He was in Music Man�with us in 1991.� Gary of course usually gets�notices and remembered where ever we go when we see old classmates.��It usually takes a bit for people to place me.

Then G and I went to my house to change to go see Bright Light Big City by MMT in DT.� The guys were great.� The show a bite on the weaker side for MMT but you could tell the cast loved it and they put energy into it.� The sound was not good at all and I was very disappointed in that.

We left right after the show and got to G like 10 and I left and went home.

Sunday I slept a lot.� I got up and ran about 1.5 miles and just before I died I got home to fall asleep on the couch until Darren Called.� We talked about the show (from Saturday night) and also that he is going to be my neighbor in the same building in two weeks.

I got off the phone with him and was late for a VB reunion to celebrate our 2nd place showing.��I showed up about 6:30 (half an hour late) it was Gary, Marc, Tif and Mandy.� We sat around talking and munching.� Gary ordered me a Grilled cheese sandwich is exactly what I wanted.� We sat there all talking until about 745-8 and G left and then the girls left.� I had a couple of glasses of beer and was ready to leave.��So Marc and I stayed there talking until 11:30.

We are so much alike.� We think a like and watch the same shows. �We both showed pic of the dogs and just talked about everything.� We even agree on politics and how we see the world.� It was weird.� We found that the only thing that we didnapos;t agree on was our favorite movies an that is because we havenapos;t seen the other person favorite movie.

He has a degree in physics and a master in aeronautics and we talked about that stuff and then he remembered that I work at an insurance company which he does too. �He is a coder and we talked about that and projects that went horribly wrong. We had a blast.���

Then he stopped himself and asked have I ever been able to "doublethink?"��
All I said was 84�
He said yes...

I said that a dear friend of mine recently said that he was impressed how I was able to do that.� So the conversation took a deep turn and we talked about almost everything from Ethics to the contradictions that we both have from the way we think.� It was wild.� It had been a while since I had explored about my own feelings that way.� I really miss that.

Monday worked at UHG and then the clinic came home and took the dogs for a run and then to bed.

Today so far worked at UHG packed a bit CAUSE�I�MOVE�NEXT�WEEK YEAH Work at the clinic then figuring out what to do this weekend.� Justin and Heng are both in town Wednesday and Thursday so Iapos;m sure I will spend some time with them.

Remember....
make sure to tell those you love that you love them, no matter what...
Make sure your friends know how you feel...
try something completely new everyday...
and have fun today.

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